Sadness
For deaths, injuries and losses of every kind.

Longing
For all that has gone.

Guilt
For being better off than others, for being alive and not injured, for feeling regrets about things not done

Shame
For having been exposed as helpless, 'emotional' and needing other, for not having reacted as you would have wished.

Anger
At what has happened, at whoever caused it or allowed it to happen, at the injustice and senselessness of it all, at other people's lack of understanding and inefficiencies

Memories
Of feelings, of loss or of love for the other people in your life who have been injured or who have died.

Let down
Disappointment for all the plans that cannot be fulfilled.

Hope
For the future, for better times.

Numbness
Your mind may allow the misfortune to be felt only slowly. At first you may feel numb. The event may seem like a dream, something that has not really happened. People often see this wrongly as being 'strong' or 'uncaring'.

Dreams
You may find yourself repeatedly dreaming about what happened.

Accidents
A disaster may become the main thing that you think about for a long time. The stress of this and the lack of ability to focus on the here and now may make you more accident-prone.

Alcohol and drugs
The extra tension may lead you to increase your intake of substances which you feel dull the pain temporarily. It is important to seek help if this is happening repeatedly.

It is common to have some or all of these feelings after a disaster and you may experience them immediately or some time later. The feelings can be very strong and frightening, especially if a death was sudden or violent, or if a body was not recovered, or if many people died. It can feel as if you are losing control or 'going mad', but for most people the feelings become less intense over time. Many people find that crying can give relief but it is also common to have other responses, such as a desire to be alone.

Other Relationships
A crisis can bring people together and lead to new friendships, but it can create tensions and strains. Some families are able to support one another, but this not always possible and conflicts may emerge. Relationships between partners can also be affected.

What can help?
Reality: attending funerals, returning to the scene and talking to people who know what happened, are all ways in which a situation which seems unbelievable may be made more credible and easier to bear.

Talking: many people find it helpful to talk about what happened and how they feel. This can be an important part of the healing process.

Support: sharing with others who have had similar experiences can help.

Privacy: some people want to be left on their own.

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